Religion – Rule of Marriage in Kejawen Gotong Dalan

Gambar oleh Pexels dari Pixabay

Kejawen is one of the local beliefs in Indonesia especially from Javanese. They confess that they are Muslim, but before Islam arrives, their lives follow the Javanese tradition. Until today, mostly the old people of kejawen still strictly follow the rules of kejawen. One of the marriage customs still known by kejawen individuals is called gotong dalan marriage. Gotong dalang marriage is a ban on marriage between a man and a woman whose houses are opposite each other and separate from the main road.

Baca juga: Religion: Why Local Belief Exists in Indonesia.

Bibit, bebet, bobot

Kejawen people are very selective and careful in choosing a partner. This is done with the hope that the prospective partner whom he/she will marry can live happily in harmony forever. To achieve this goal, they consider bibit, bebet, bobotBibit refers to the physically consideration. Bebet, namely the assessment of the wealth while bobot refers to the social position of the potential partner (Janah, 2017).

Before moving on to further discussion, there are several characteristics of Indonesian youth that need to be understood. Most Indonesian youth, especially those who take higher education, tend not to believe in the traditions of their ancestors that developed in society. Today’s youth tend to be more rational in thinking. They do not want to believe anything that does not make sense. They also consider that now the world is modern, some ancient customs and traditions are no longer in accordance with current conditions. Because of this, many young people think that these ancestral traditions no longer exist today.

Back to the discussion about the gotong dalan prohibition in kejawen. Based on the results of research (Janah, 2017), it is found that in general there are two group views the prohibition of mutual marriage in Kejawen. First, people who are old and have little religious knowledge, they still adhere to the prohibition of gotong dalan. They are still strict with their children not to marry someone whose house is opposite.

They still have a strong belief that a mutual marriage will cause great dangers such as lack of sustenance, not being blessed with children, household quarrels, and the death of family members. Their strong belief in this tradition is based on the belief that everything that happens in this world has something to do with supernatural powers.

Ancestors Using the Titen Science Method

The traditional kejawen people believe that everything in this world has correlation with supernatural power. The prohibition of the gotong dalan marriage occurs from the observations of our ancestors using the titen science method. They observe marriages that are carried out simultaneously and find a pattern that mutual marriages can bring disaster. In the Javanese sense, the disaster here is the unseen power that guards this place and forbids this marriage to occur. Therefore, for the traditional people of kejawen, they are still insisted to prohibit this gotong dalan marriage (Janah, 2017).

Second, young people and people who have sufficient religious education are no longer believe in the prohibition of gotong dalan. They believe that the prohibition on gotong dalan only to avoid the two families hearing of disputes between husband-and-wife partner. They think that quarrels or divorces faced by couples who do the gotong dalan marriage occur because of personality mismatches, excessive emotion, and destiny of Allah SWT. It is not related at all with the gotong dalang marriage that they did. It is in line with the fact that the young generation will tend to think rationally. Only if they think the reason is make sense, then they will believe it.

In essence, most young people today do not really believe in the prohibition of mutual marriage. This is because they feel it does not make sense if it is related to the bad effects that occur just because of doing this gotong dalan marriage.

Writer: Nur Aysah Abbas
Srudent of Sampoerna University